It’s a cool evening in
January when I was born. I don’t remember much about the years before
my sixth birthday but as I grow into my sixth year I see that my mother
and stepfather work on a farm in rural
We live in a three-room shack with a wood burning stove for heat and cooking. On a moon lit night you can see the light coming through the cracks in the wall. Normally I sleep on the sofa or on the floor on a blanket………
I must have been a bad boy because my Daddy sent me to the room which was their bedroom and they sleep on the sofa. He makes me stay in the room and sleep on the floor for three days leaving only to go to school. Its so cold I get on my knees and cover with my shirt so my breath will keep my face warm………..
Its Saturday and Daddy and me go to town. After we get flour and other supplies so mom can bake things we go to a place Daddy calls a bar. We stay there for hours, after he comes out he smells really bad and talks funny……..
Well its Christmas time. Christmas wasn’t much at our house, just a bag of hard candy and a beating………
As the days go by I learn where the really good hiding places are around the farm so next time Daddy wants to beat me I can run and hide so he can’t………
Daddy gets mad at me and beats me with his belt then tells me to go to the room. After he is asleep Mom comes to the door and asks if I need water, I tell her yes so she slides a little tray under the door………
Seems that when ever I am being beat by my Daddy an angel appears and the pain goes away……..
I tell my Mom “one day when I am older I think I will try to kill him”. She says………..
I was not allowed to look Daddy in the eye, He said bad kids can’t do that because……..
One night we were eating dinner, I guess I did something that Daddy didn’t like because he threw a glass at me, I ducked and took a knife off the table and put it to his throat…….. The next day I joined the Air Force. As I was leaving town on the bus I was thinking, is this the end. I will never let anyone treat me that way again.